Pigeons are cooler than you think

Whoever started the pigeon smear campaign did a stellar job.

Most people can not think of a pigeon without thinking of dirty, flying rats, disease carriers, vermin, and urban filth. In the same league as flies, rats, and mice. Something that makes people go ‘yuck’, ‘gross’, or shies away in disgust. We poison them, shot them, zap them, put spikes on buildings to hopefully shish kebab them, and feed them birth control to ensure that their eggs are unfertilized.

I never got the hate. I think pigeons are the bee's knees. The dog's biscuit. The Big Lebowski. El Duderino of the bird kingdom. Pigeons are actually my favourite bird. I do not say that to be edgy or alternative, I have always had a soft spot for them.

It may also be because I write this with a pigeon perched on my shoulder. He has just finished attacking my laptop screen and has tired himself out. I found a baby pigeon, he imprinted on me, and now thinks I am his flock and he is the cuddliest lil monster out there. And a lot quieter than a parrot. Just saying.

So I can not sit idly by, while his good name is constantly besmirched, therefore, I have taken it upon myself to be the pigeon public relations guru.

I present to you the following list of reasons why pigeons are great, beautiful, courageous, and intelligent.

They are one of our oldest companies

The rock pigeon is the oldest domesticated bird. Egyptian hieroglyphics and Mesopotamian cineiform tablets show that pigeons have been domesticated for more than 5000 years. But it is likely that they were domesticated by Neolithic man as far back as 10,000 years.

Pigeons young, ‘squabs,’ were farmed for eating being an important source of protein, sacrificed in rituals to the gods, kept as pets, acted as air couriers of the air for warlords such as Genghis Khan, and generally flocked with our ancestors.

They are war heroes

Have you ever seen a movie dedicated to a war pigeon? Nope. Well, let me tell you now pigeons are the unsung war heroes. One of the most infamous is Cher Ami. A male homing pigeon managed to relay a message from an encircled battalion even when shot down by enemy troops during the Meuse-Argonne offensive in October of 1918. His message helped to save the lives of the 194 survivors.

They are very snazzy looking

The pigeon you most likely will run into the corner dairy, is this guy, the rock or feral pigeon. They shine bright like a feathered disco ball in the sun, they have eyes that are kind of reminiscent of cauldrons of red bubbling blood and generally are pretty smart looking. But did you know, that there are a whole array of different pigeon species, and some look like they are basically bird runaway models? For instance, have a gander at this gorgeous guy, the Jacobian pigeon. They look like they just wandered off the set of a BBC period drama

Or the Frill Back, who look like they wandered out of a salon after a perm that was only half-finished. It is a look, and they make it work.

Or the belle of the ball, the Victoria Crowned Pigeon. Just look at that elaborate headpiece, looks like something found on the red carpet at the Met Gala.

Basically, pigeons are snazzy-looking birds and we are pretty lucky to be able to see one of the family hanging out at the local Mcdonalds' carpark.

They are clean

Hands up if you are one of those people who think pigeons are disease-ridden and are basically the poster child for the first horseman of the Apocalypse, pestilence? Because let me tell you pigeons are pretty damn hygienic. There is very little evidence that pigeons transmit diseases to humans, and they are pretty anal about their own preening practices spending hours getting their feathers to lay just right. So unless you regularly snort pigeon poop, you properly won't be getting any diseases from them.

They are little Einsteins

They are hella smart. They will remember your face basically forever if you chase them or harass them. You will be known as the pigeon bully by the whole flock. They can even discriminate between different humans by facial features in photographs.

They can identify every letter in the alphabet. A study, which used a food reward system, resulted in pigeons learning up to 58 words. Pigeons are not just masters of English but are pretty good at maths, as highlighted in a New Zealand study in 2011. Pigeons can not only count but can learn abstract mathematical rules that put them in the same intelligence category as monkeys. The study showed that pigeons could show that three was lower than five, and nine higher than two.

They have some famous friends

What do Mike Tyson, Nikolai Telsa, and Pablo Picasso all have in common? They are or were huge pigeon lovers. Mike Tyson has like a thousand pigeons that he keeps in his New York lofts and there are many a photo on the internet with him giving a big ole smooch to a pigeon's face. Nikola Telsa, properly one of the smartest humans to have walked the Earth and a notable germaphobe, used to nurse sick pigeons in his apartment with one special white pigeon capturing his heart so much so that he wrote that “I loved that pigeon as a man loves a woman, and she loved me”. And one of Picasso’s favourite muses were pigeons, having been around them in childhood as his father bred pigeons. Many of his paintings have a pigeon or dove theme.

So there you have it. The pigeon is not the rats with wings pariah of the bird world that society has made them out to be. They are kickass birds.