Van life: Week one
As all good stories begin, I started my van life journey parked up in my parent’s driveway. An extension cord snaking its way out of their home, hooking my van up to power, a new feature to their property that my mother thought made her house look like ‘white trash’ - her words.
Is this vanlife, I thought as I stared up at the ceiling one evening. They seem to miss these parts out, when they show it on Instagram. The gram normally showed photos of being right on the beach, a couple looking out at a sunset from the comfort of their van, with the dude’s hand resting on the girl’s ass. My vanlife thus far has been a bit lacklustre, there has definitely been a lack of ass groping that’s for sure.
What I thought van life would look like
But, it has also been liberating. I have no attachments. I have no leases, no real commitments, no stable job. The last one sometimes makes me break into hives and smile a little too manically. I am free. Well, as soon as I finish doing some minor adjustments to the van and depart my parent’s backyard that is.
I have had a few thoughts during this week on vanlife. So, without further ado here are those thoughts. Most of them came about while staring up at my van ceiling, trying to get to sleep in a small metal box.
-That vans are small. I may soon look like the hunchback of Notre Dame if I do not stop hunching over while cooking.
-Your life is very public now - My house is often parked up in carparks or holiday parks where everyone can have a nosy on what I am doing. Or I am sharing the toilet or shower space with many other ladies. Gone are the times where I can poop alone. It is a weird feeling. I may become a midnight pooper.
-Van life is rough on the feet - my heels now resemble sandpaper more so than human feet. If you have a piece of wood that needs sanding, I will be hiring them out for $20 an hour.
I need to invest in pumice to rub away all the rough edges. This may be because I am standing a lot more outside while I cook, or simply doing yoga or reading. I do not remember what carpet feels like.
-That I miss having a freezer - RIP midnight ice cream binge seasons. And the saddest fact of all, no more hashbrowns.
- I have a lot of things - too many things - Why do I have so many clothes. I am now from this point onwards only going to have one pair of pants, shirt, undies and socks. I do not know the logistics of this choice yet.
- How do you have sex?
Serious question for any vanlifers out there. How do you have non-rock the van sex? Do you have quiet sex now? Are you all celibate? From a curious girl.
-Setting up a bed in the dark is not fun - when your bed is now your couch as well, and you go to bed late, setting it up is a hassle.
-That I should not have invested in fitted sheets - fitted sheets are from the darkest realms of the underworld, and I will not be convinced otherwise. Folding them is hellish.
-What am I doing? - I have had this line of questioning several times this week.
-It is kind of cool - I have also had this line of thought. While my whole life is kind of different now, and I do miss some creature comforts, like a shower and the ability to stand straight in my home, I am warming up to van life. I love how liberating it feels and I am excited for this new venture.