Facing Rejection
Being rejected often feels like a punch in the stomach. Or the groin. Or it feels like someone has punched you so hard in my stomach, they have removed your spleen and thrown said spleen into your face. And now you are just standing there with your own spleen all over your face. I would not describe it as a great feeling.
I often get rejected for my writing pieces and photography. With a short bland email from an editor who most likely only read my good morning and skimmed the rest of the words that I sweat and bleed to write. It makes it a bit worse, those generic emails. I think I would rather just be left forever hanging. No response, rather than the email template of rejection they often send off.
Straight after that initial feeling of having my spleen ripped out, I wallow.
I like to wallow. But just for a second. Or perhaps 15 minutes. I pretend that I am a cute little pig rolling in mud and wallowing. I even carry this out. I get into bed, on my back and rock side to side, saying I am wallowing aloud. Now when I write this, it seems semi crazy. But it works. Because it gets me laughing and having fun.
And after my practical wallowing session, I get up dust off the mud and move the fuck on. I look at myself and I repeat my positive affirmations. I am a wildlife photographer. I am a writer. I am amazing. And force myself to do a little smile. Feeling emotions after rejection is one hundred percent okay. Just do not grab on to them and hold them close. Do not dwell. Do not re-read that rejection email. Do not doubt yourself because one person said your writing or photo was not a fit for them. You are amazing. Because you are you. And you are working towards your dreams. That is the bravest thing you can do. Bravo.
Also part of my rejection process is eating curly fries. It is very therapeutic. And tasty.
For my full process of dealing with rejection. Read on. I have come up with some not so original tips on how to accept rejection and even perhaps make it your bitch.
The Wallow.
As I mentioned earlier, the wallow is an integral part of the getting over the rejection process. Embrace it. Just for a second. Smooch it on the lips. Get under the covers with it. Eat chips, cry, lament on the unfairness of the world, or throw a pillow. But only for a moment in time. Do not stay in the wallow period. Because next we
2. Get up and shake it off.
As the wise group OutKast said, like a polaroid picture. Once you have had a decent wallow, get up, dust yourself off and let’s start moving on. This will be hard. Because once you are a wallow mode, it is hard to get out of it. It is nice and cosy under those blankets, eating those chips, or generally feeling shitty about yourself and the world. But you can do it. Dust those chip crumbs off your shirt, throw those blankets off your person and cartwheel out of wallow zone.
3. Affirmations
New age word plug. I would not define myself as new age in the traditional sense. And what does new age even mean. New age in contrast to old age? Semantics aside, I would define myself as a new age dabbler. I enjoy reading on different ideas to help with self and living in this world.
I pick out the tools and ideas from this material that I feel work for my life. And affirmations are one of these.
Affirmations are positive statements that can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. When you repeat them often, and believe in them, you can start to make positive changes. ... Self-affirmation may also help to mitigate the effects of stress —-Mind Tools
My affirmations will of course be different from yours. So, I want you to write down a list of things, positive things, that resonate with you. For myself, this is I am a wildlife photographer. I am a writer. I am amazing.
Write them on a piece of paper and stick them on your wall. That why they are always within eyeshot.
4. Do something you love.
Next we are going to do something that makes your heart happy after that dose of bullshit. So again this is completely personal. But decide on something that makes you smile or laugh. Then go do it for a bit, until you stop thinking about that email or that other form of rejection. This could be reading a book, going for a walk or watching a shitty reality TV show (my personal favourite).
5. Eat those curly fries!
This is pretty self explanatory. Crunchy, salty, crispy. Delicious. Go out and eat some curly fries until all you feel is greasy.
6. Move the FUCK ON!
So once you have done your wallowing, feel good things and eaten all the curly fries you can get your hands on, it is time to move on. Rejection happens, not everyone is going to appreciate what you offer. It may not gel with them like it gels with you. That doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means that it isn’t meant to be this time.
